


Voicemail

by insanityintensifies



Series: Bonus (nsfw) Snippets from the Stripper AU [3]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Criminals, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Dom/sub, Domestic Fluff, M/M, Mairon misses his Master, Mairon summarizes their relationship a bit, Melkor is somewhere, angbang, he's just very happy that he met Melkor, mentions of:, no idea where, quite a few sex things, there are a lot of emotions in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-17
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-05-14 14:09:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5747386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insanityintensifies/pseuds/insanityintensifies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Melkor is somewhere and there hasn't been much contact between the two, if any. Mairon doesn't know when Melkor will come back to him and Melkor doesn't either. Mairon leaves voicemails for his Master.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Voicemail #1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shortskirtleatherjacket](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shortskirtleatherjacket/gifts).



_"You have one new message, recorded today at 3:13am.”_

* * *

“Uhm, hello, it’s me.

I know this is a stupid time to call because you're fast asleep; time zones can really be a pain in the ass, can't they?  
So, for me it's around seven in the afternoon which means for you it's the middle of the night.  
Anyway, I just wanted to call.

I heard people at college talk about a TV drama and about a couple in it. They're called Brian and Justin. Initially I wasn't listening because it were girls going on and on about how hot the two were and how they were just perfect for each other, but as they began to talk about the plot of the first season I started to listen. Brain is in a high position and Justin is planning on going dancing to be able to pay for college. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?”

The young man gave a half-hearted laugh.

“Anyway I looked up the Wikipedia page of the show and then put their names into google. It came up with a story about these two characters a fan had written. It plays in a completely different setting and the beginning reminded me a bit of that stupid book ‘Fifty shades of Grey’ but I continued reading it anyways. The author wrote over 20 chapters already and until now it's been a really good story. I enjoyed reading it, but it also made me realize something.”

Here Mairon had paused, hesitation gripping him, before he continued.

“It made me realize how much of a coincidence our meeting really was, how much of a coincidence it was that we fit together so well. And it made me realize that, from the beginning, there has been an amount of trust in our relationship that apparently not many people ever experience with anyone, which is kind of hard for me to imagine, since I got used to it over the years and began to forget about the miserable time before.

So much has changed over the last few years. Since I moved in with you my life has gotten much better than I could have _ever_ anticipated. And yes, I'm deliberately saying ‘ _moved in_ ’ because let's face it, the time between meeting you for the first time and you touching me for the first time I was a nervous wreck, filled with emotions that tore me into all kinds of directions, aroused like I had _never_ been before and filled with an incredible need for something where I didn't even know what it was. And then that one night where you touched me I got calmer but also even more nervous while being around you and that still doesn't make sense. And then there was the night when you took my virginity and I noticed that I preferred being fucked way over fucking...

But in the first time of more regular visits I was so exhausted some days. It really took a toll on me and my health and I never told you that, but in the beginning I was questioning my decision to come back to you because of that. And yet I couldn't stay away. You had introduced me to a lifestyle where I'm sure I wouldn't have discovered it any time soon. And it felt amazing. You made me feel so good. Like nobody ever had before. You still do. But there had been another reason to stay. In the very beginning I was fascinated by you. Intimidated, aroused, maybe a little frightened. But you were so different from everyone that I wanted to know more, I had to know more about you.

You made me feel safe and cared for, even if it was just a stroke over my hair after a rough scene or a ‘ _good boy_ ’ after I had gotten over myself and managed to do something I previously couldn't. But apart from that you were a mystery to me for a very long time. I didn't know what caused it, I'm not even sure when it really happened because knowing you as well as I do now you didn't tell me immediately, but it changed when you finally let me in. And it brought a completely new dimension to the previous relationship we had. If you can call everything before that a relationship. Fuckbuddies maybe, but I loathe that term.

You know, this is the moment I realize that no matter if I continue talking or not this will send. I can't stop it in any way…

I don't think there are words to describe how happy I was when you opened up to me. Ever since that day I can't even imagine life without you. I can't imagine how it would be to wake up in someone else's arms, or between someone else's legs for that matter. I can't imagine any other person to submit to, no other person who could guide me the way you do and to be honest... **_I don't want to._**

I never wanted anyone since I met you, not even remotely and I never wanted anyone before as much as I want you. I have never wanted to wake up next to someone in the morning, or for anyone to surprise me while I'm cooking dinner, I have never wanted to kiss anyone or touch anyone as much as I want it with you.

I have never wanted to submit myself to anyone, because nobody was ever strong enough, nobody was ever demanding enough. I never wanted to be fucked into oblivion, to be teased and denied until I was crying; I never wanted to be spanked or hit with a cane or whipped until I was near bleeding or couldn't take it anymore. I never wanted to gag around anyone's cock or faint from lack of air because I was choked. I never wanted to have my hair pulled on and be told to remember my place. I never wanted any piercings or tattoos or any signs of commitment. But with you… **_I crave it_**. _All of it._ ”

He paused again, a chuckle accompanying his next sentence.

“You came into my life and then turned my whole world upside down. I didn't know what was right or wrong anymore and I came to find _I don't care..._

Do you remember the first time you rimmed me and I thought it was the most depraved thing one could possibly do to another person? And look where we are now. All the things you did to me, or I did to you. Everything we did together.

Do you remember how I blushed at everything in the beginning? I suppose that more often than not my face had the same colour as my hair. How I blushed even at the prospect of being naked in front of you? How uncomfortably nervous it made me in the early days to always be naked inside your house? And now it's become something that makes me feel safe. I come home, strip, change my collar and no matter how my day was I get calmer.

Do you remember how humiliated I was whenever you bend me over your knee to spank me? And now, I have to be honest, it's one of my favourite positions, whether a spanking will follow or not. There are only a few positions which in themselves make me feel as safe as waking up with your arm wrapped tightly around my chest, but lying over your lap is one of them. With my arms folded under my head and my legs stretched out, one of your hands on my butt and the other stroking my hair and I could purr in contentment.  
Actually I'm sure I did that on several occasions…

But there are also things that haven't changed. When I sit between your legs, just before pleasuring you my chest _still_ tightens with the same excitement as it did at the beginning of my training. When you look at me with that hunger in your eyes, you know which look I'm talking about, my heart _still_ skips a beat. When you tie me up, spread open and on full display for you, whether you decide to watch or not, my heart rate _still_ speeds up. When you leave me waiting after you promised you'd fuck me every _minute_ feels like an eternity. And when you're gone I crave you all the more.”

Another pause.

“I just noticed I've been talking for about twenty minutes straight… Sorry about that, but in the time you've been away I have had a lot of time to think and I got very emotional tonight because I love you.

I love you.

I know you don't know how long it will be until you come back to me.

...

I miss you.”

* * *

_“End of message, if you want to call back, press **1** , if you want to delete this message, press **2** , if you want t…” _


	2. Six months later...

_"You have one new message, recorded today at 9:30pm.”_

* * *

 

"I don't know if you ever got my last voicemail and I don't know if you even use this phone anymore or it its still intact. I don't know where you are or what you're doing.

I don't even know if you're still alive.

 

I lie awake at night, asking myself if I will ever see you again. Sometimes I drift off when I do something, wondering where you are and what's keeping you there. You could be with some important business partner. You could be on a mission. You could be kidnapped. You could be in prison. You could be dead.

 

I'm keeping my eyes and ears open for you. Thuringwethiel is monitoring all channels for any news about you.   
She and Gothmog are the only ones who know that we have no idea where you are.

From one day to another you left, no goodbye, no note, nothing.

Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, I hope it's something important.

I took your position in the business. Trying to make it look like I'm just following orders you gave me when in honesty I'm sitting here with no experience whatsoever. But six months is a damn long time. Mr. Yakushi visited me to discuss some business plan I didn't even know of. Some German called Franz was here to talk about weaponry. Several American lowlifes wanted help to fight their rival gangs. And I'm getting better at improvising.

So much about what's going on, because that's not the reason I'm calling.

...

_I miss you._

I never thought it possible that you can actually miss someone so much it hurts. But it does.

On the nights were it's really bad I take one of your pullovers out of the cupboard and curl up in front of the fire...   
Which is a stupid idea because heat and dehydration make me dizzy afterwards, but maybe I do it in the hopes of being picked up by you like it happened so often.

But your things don't smell much like you anymore.

And in six months you get needs. There were nights where I felt like an animal that went into heat.   
I was so desperately aroused it hurt.   
I tried, but I couldn't...   
I couldn't touch myself properly. I didn't want to wank nor did I need to. I wanted you. I needed you.

 

Of course I could have used toys or my fingers, because after six months those rules all seem a bit unfortunate, but that wouldn't have been the same.

One evening Gothmog found me like that. I gave him a key in case something happened to me. He was very caring, I didn't think he could be. First he wrapped me in a blanket and when I turned away and started crying he hugged me. Then he made me mint tea and forced me to take a shower. We talked afterwards. You have to when you get a hard on right after a cold shower and it has nothing to do with the person in front of you.

He offered to help me out. I refused. He understood. I know his dick is large enough to satisfy me but I would have hated myself afterwards.   
Six months, no proper fuck, wanking doesn't satisfy and of course there is the 'no orgasm without permission rule'.

 

I'm not whining, I just want you to know what your absence does to me.

I think I came four times in these months?

I went to a doctor because of the health risks but he said with once a month I'd be fine.

The first two times were the worst. I cried for almost an hour afterwards. I was so disgusted and so upset that I had to get off you wouldn't believe it. I still don't enjoy it, but it's not as bad anymore. It's mechanic now. I sit down on a small plug and stroke myself until I spill. I watch it shoot out as if it's someone else's. It feels detached from me.

 

I stopped switching my collars. I did it for three months? But there is no point in it now. I'm wearing the thinnest so I can always wear it and it does its job.

Some days I take the golden collar out of the drawer and hold it. I just hold it and look at it and try not to the let all the memories drown me.

I'm wearing underwear again. White briefs. I thought about black, but they would have been like yours...

I started wearing clothes in the house again. Usually just underpants and a shirt, but still.

 

For your birthday I had made brownies. But they choked me up so I gave them to the shelter down the street.   
And broke someone's hand because the tramp thought he could touch my ass.

For my birthday I got me a new suit. Well, not on my birthday bc that day was miserable. But some time afterwards. I had lost a lot of weight in the first months. Most of my clothes looked baggy and that isn't very professional. It doesn't fit well anymore. Gothmog kicked my ass and I picked up training again. I'm working out twice as much as before. It's the only outlet for frustration I have. And it's not really a good one.

I spend Christmas alone. I didn't get a tree, or presents. Or anything. I didn't make a turkey like I usually do. I took a bath for an hour.

On Valentines day I bought a necklace. For Thuringwethiel to give it to her... whatever they are. She liked it. I also got dark chocolate pralines.   
And then gave them to Gothmog because the smell alone made me feel sick.

 

At work I'm commanding everyone around.   
They look up to me and expect orders. I  
have to make decisions that decide over life and death.   
I...   
How do you even do it?

_I'm not made for that._

 

Yes, your company is fine, everything is working and some things are more efficient than before, but I can feel myself breaking under it.

Not so much because of the decisions, but because that's not who I am.

 

I crave to kneel between your legs with my cheek resting on your thigh and your hand in my hair.

Just that. Nothing more. Nothing less. I need to feel cared for, safe, _wanted_.

 

It sounds so selfish when I say it out loud. So selfish when I'm upset about my desire when I should be worried about you.

But I don't know _what to feel_ or even _think_ anymore.

I don't want to feel anything anymore. Because I just hurt. Every minute without you pains me and I don't even know if you'll ever return.

 

I miss you _so_ much."

* * *

 _“End of message, if you want to call back, press_ **_1_ ** _, if you want to delete this message, press_ **_2_ ** _, if you want t…”_

**Author's Note:**

> The person who writes the Stripper AU with me is very busy at the moment and hasn't got any muse, so naturally Mairon began to miss Melkor. And I've been sick for the last few days and came up with a lot of angst so instead of writing more for the smut things I wrote this more emotional thing. Idk...
> 
> These characters, unfortunatly, don't belong to me. All rights go to J. R. R. Tolkien.
> 
> Find me on tumblr! [@insanityintensifies](https://insanityintensifies.tumblr.com/)


End file.
